Stress

Dear Kids,

Did you know that you will experience stress someday? I mean, I know you experience stress right now in some ways. You know what it’s like to have things not go your way or struggle with a homework assignment or something like that. Well I just want to say that stress doesn't go away just because you grow up or get a job or have money that you can spend or don’t have to do homework anymore. It just gets different and frankly, it gets more complicated and the things that you stress about have a bigger impact on your life. 

Don’t worry though! The common perception of stress is that it is bad and all bad and not good and just…bad! Well let me tell you that every person needs stressors in their lives to push them along and give experiences that help you grow and develop. Some stress is biological to let you know something is dangerous or that something needs to change. All you have to do is look on TV if you want to see the effects of people that live with relatively few stressors. Many of these rich and famous celebrities have their own TV shows and you would think that if they don't have to worry about making meal plans and paying rent and getting good grades that they don't have anything to be worried about right? Well they make their livings now on the drama that goes on in their lives. Their lives are NOT stress free. Everyone has to deal with stress.

Did you know that the Chinese symbol for crisis is actually two symbols that mean “danger” and “opportunity” respectively. This is very interesting to me because it shows that when we are stressed out and we might be in a state of crisis…it really is a danger that we are recognizing and an opportunity to make a choice. If we continue what we are doing, we are going to be uncomfortable (usually feelings of discomfort do not go away in the middle of a crisis without anything changing). If we change that we can reevaluate our crisis. I thought those Chinese symbols were just so interesting.

Let’s talk about coping. The dictionary talks about coping like this, “to deal effectively with something difficult.” This seems like a good thing to me, right? It seems that most people use the word coping in a negative way. 

“How are you doing?”

   “Oh, I am coping.”

“How’s your day been”

   “Just coping!”

Why is this? Wouldn't we all like to deal effectively with things that are difficult in our lives. Coping is a great skill to have.

I want you to picture a pool in your mind. Maybe like the pools that we always go to with Nana and Papa in Arizona. All around the border of the pool is a special set of blocks or tiles that have a little lip on them overhanging about the water a little bit. Usually that little lip around the outside of the pool is big enough for someone to grab onto, especially if they are in danger of drowning or some other distress in the water. In fact, in many places, it’s mandated by law that this lip be big enough for that very purpose. 

Do you know what this part of the pool is called? Want to just take a stab at it? You may have guessed it…Coping. Is that not interesting?

My fatherly advice to you, my children, would be to embrace stress in your life. Learn that it is good for you and if you learn how to cope and effectively deal with things that are difficult, you will do great!

Just some things that I’m thinking about lately. Love you guys!